our first scare as parents...

We had our first scare with Jacob this past week. Early Thursday morning, around 12:15 or so, the little guy woke up barely breathing. He was wheezing and struggling so hard to breathe that his chest was literally almost touching his backbone, and his mouth was turning bluish. He had been coughing and wheezing a bit the night before, but we chalked that up to a minor cold and didn't think anything of it, especially because he had been acting like his normal, happy self all day. So, naturally we were terrified at this turn of events. I frantically got on the internet looking for 24-hour urgent care centers in our area (I'll give you a hint: there are none here. Not one.) while Becki tried to calm Jacob down by singing to him and holding him near the steam from the shower (to help loosen the congestion).

Anyway, we got him in the car and drove him to the emergency room. Luckily, as he normally does, he dozed off in his carseat, but we could still hear him struggling to draw a normal breath. Upon arrival at the hospital, the staff--which was very good, by the way--jumped into action, getting oxygen flowing, hooking up an IV, and generally poking and prodding the poor little guy from every angle. Which, of course, didn't immediately help matters, as he was getting more and more anxious. The attending physician told us that it sounded like he had a respiratory inflamation of some sort, probably croup, and, while his breathing was much better after an hour or two, he was still concerned with his "retracting" to try and draw a breath. Based on that, he made the decision to transfer us, via what I'm sure will be expensive ambulance ride, to Arnold Palmer Hospital in Orlando. My parents graciously got up in the middle of the night to drive me over, while Becki rode with Jacob and the ambulance crew.

And, of course, once there, everything was fine. The doctors (as it's a teaching hospital, there were 4 of them!) all agreed very quickly that Jacob had gotten croup and went through a particularly nasty spell of it, which is why he was breathing hard. It's fairly common, and, most of the time, doesn't require hospital assistance, but everyone thought we had done the right thing by bringing him in--I know that I, despite the cost of all this, felt better knowing he was in good hands! So, after diagnosing him and giving him a shot of a steroids-based medicine to help clear his respiratory system out, there was really nothing to do except spend some quiet time together as a family while the nurses monitored him, and hopefully get some sleep (we didn't). We were discharged in the early afternoon, set up a follow-up appointment with Jacob's pediatrician, and were home by late afternoon.

So, all in all, yes, it was a scary night. But, as God often does, He pointed out several things clearly to me:

1. I need to appreciate my wife and son more. Honestly, I think I do a fairly good job of this already...but I know I can do more. For instance, in the few days we've had together since coming home from Orlando, I've learned how much more entertaining spending time with Jacob can be, as opposed to flipping on the TV or surfing the internet. And that time will not only not always be there, but it will go quickly. I need to learn to take the time to enjoy it.

2. I need to give God not only my life, but those around me. There was seriously a point in the hospital in the first few minutes where I was asking myself what would happen if Jacob didn't survive. It's a brutally poignant question. But the truth is that God's in control no matter what. If He wants to take me, or Becki, or Jacob in the next five minutes...well, that's His business. And, no matter my grief, I have to trust Him completely. After all, as a Christ-Follower, what choice do I really have?

3. Life is precious, and little else matters. Funny how a few hours in an emergency room dealing with a potential life-threatening issue makes our "problems" seem so trivial.